How to calm an angry person down over the phone

We live in a world where people get mad. Sometimes we’re the reason, so we apologize. Other times, we’re present as our spouse, friend, relative, or whomever is angry.

How to deal with an angry person in a relationship

Rather than be pure witness, we want to help. Often, we tell the person “Calm down.”

You may know this but it’s important to remember: Telling an angry person to calm down is simple and direct and about as effective as eating soup with a fork.

The person doesn’t want to hear it because they can’t. Their limbic system has hijacked the brain and when someone is in the fight-or-flight response, there’s no creativity, just a singular focus on the threat.

More than not getting through, the words “calm down” will most likely piss them off because the implicit message is: Your feelings are inappropriate and you can’t handle them. Invalidate, much?

“You’re usurping control and that escalates things,” says Jeff Bostic, psychiatrist at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital.

“You’re lucky if they only tell you to, ‘Go f*ck yourself,’” adds Mitch Abrams, clinical psychol

how to cool a person who is angry

how to calm down someone who is angry at you